Worthy Now

Some days I feel like I can climb mountains, I feel powerful and strong and sure of my purpose. Then there are days when the self doubt kicks in.  Maybe I should be smaller, maybe I should be a bit less.  Maybe I am not worthy.  My posture changes, my resolve crumbles and I feel weak.  The world we live in sends us so many messages about what we should be – photoshopped images,  food portioned into smaller packages and sold for double the price as “diet food”, women have been conditioned to smoke rather than eat (and risk their lives instead of weighing a bit more) and we curse our healthy bodies for taking up too much room.  I know women who won’t swim or run or go to the gym because they think they will be judged.  Their lives are on hold because they feel so rotten about themselves.  And certain parts of the fitness industry exploit that negativity and try and sell a lifestyle that is unrealistic, unhealthy and based on pain and self loathing.  There are days when I’m having an internal battle between the part of myself that knows my body is something I should celebrate and the avalanche of negative information that has been thrust my way since I was wrapped in a pink blanket in the hospital. Today was one of those days. PMS played it’s part too.  I felt bloated and unworthy but I held my soft mummy tummy and thanked it for housing three beautiful babies.  Today the negative voices were silenced and I cycled over to teach my class and felt amazing.  Worthy now.

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